So, You Elected a Moron…

It seems a great time to be a political writer.  A historical election, political fraud, popular will disregarded, a brain-dead oil millionaire takes office… there is certainly no lack of material.  From the Nader supporters who gave away an election to the Gore supporters who didn’t know when to give the fuck up, the last couple of months have been a wealth of inspiration.  As a matter of fact, I’ve simply been unable to decide where to focus my attention!   And since I find it impossible to choose only one subject with which to impart my wisdom, I will do what I always do.  Choose three.

3 Ways to Elect a Moron

1. Vote for a Hopeless Third Party Candidate

Recently, I have received comments from readers about my lack of consideration for Ralph Nader as a viable choice in the presidential election.  Well, you were right.  I did not, and do not believe Ralph Nader to be qualified to run this nation.  This is not to say I don’t respect or even share many of his views.  His public statements on affirmative action, gay and lesbian rights, fair housing, and campaign reform were compelling and long overdue from our political leaders.  My biggest problem with Nader is the same problem I had with Ross Perot.  He has long history of inexperience in public management and an obvious unwillingness to compromise with his adversaries.  I think Jimmy Carter is a great man with incredible ideals.  But Christ!  He was a horrible president!  The moment you take office in this country, there are thousands of interests with whom you must deal.  For Nader, dealing with the ACLU, the NAACP, and NOW would be easy.  How about the NRA, Pro-life, or Christian Coalition constituents?  I don’t like these morons any more than you do, but guess what?  They make-up a huge portion of the population.  I’ll tell you what, the moment this country becomes a totalitarian state Ralph gets my vote.  And, in an election as close as this one, the protest vote wasn’t worth it.  Which leads me into my next point.

2. Be Stupid Enough to Believe “It just Doesn’t Matter”

The other argument I heard from most of you was “Republicans and Democrats are exactly the same.”  This is some of the bullshit being fed by the Nader camp.   I would love to go into the dynamics of the two-party system and the “tendency to converge towards the ideological middle” but I won’t waste my time.Simply put, they are not the same.  And, with the election of Bush/Cheney you are all about to be reminded just how different they are.  Did you all get too comfortable with Clinton?  Doesn’t anyone remember Ronald Reagan?  How about “gag orders” on planned parenthood clinics in counseling abortion?  How about mandatory prayer in schools?  Anyone remember the dismantling of social programs for the poor and mental health patients being put out on the street?  How about nuclear proliferation, SDI, and the cold war?  How about deregulation of S&L’s which left  millions of middle-class Americans penniless while corporate America raped our pocketbooks to pay for it.  Even now, the new Bush defense secretary, Donald Rumfeld is planning a new missile defense system.  His chosen attorney general, Sen. John Ashcroft, has a record that is racist if anything notable at all.  And, I won’t even get into the republican environmental record (kiss Alaska goodbye).  So, still think their the same?  I’ll check back with you in six months.

 

3. You Have a Public Even Dumber than the Republican Candidate

Al Gore… Al ”fucking” Gore… How the hell do you lose to an idiot like Bush?  The man can’t even speak for Christ’s sake!  I would love to blame Ralph Nader, but he didn’t receive enough votes to justify such a close race.  At least then, I could have said, “well, at least there’s an educated public out there trying to send a message.”  I could blame Al Gore for running a poor campaign.  But, did you see the debates?  Apparently, no one else did.  Gore was articulate and well-informed.  Bush was repetitive and, well, retarded!  I kept hearing people saying how Gore came off as too educated and complex.  Gee.  I don’t want my president to appear intelligent.  You know what?  Fuck the public!  They got just what they deserved.  Someone who knows nothing about important issues, and is comfortable with someone else making decisions for them.  President George W. Bush.  A portrait of the people he serves.  Morons.  Both of them.

Thank you and God Bless America
R. Weaver
P.S.  Fuck the electoral college too.  Stay tuned…
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